Saturday, September 21, 2013

Bad Dream, Good Lessons

So I am behind on blogging yet again but I had a very vivid dream last night and needed an outlet for some of the things in that dream.  The background of my dream is after a major breakdown in government and a desperate government trying to regain control coming up with outlandish laws and punishments.  Though vivid, I don't remember what exactly I did, but I was sentenced to be executed.  While waiting for this punishment to be carried out I thought on all the things that I had yet to teach my boys that I would want them to learn regardless of what was happening in the world.  So thinking my dream-self rather profound I wanted to write them down so I can remember them and try to start teaching them now.   

1.Worth-  I would want them to know that to me they are priceless.  I wanted them so badly I fought for them every step of the way.  To me no matter what they did, no matter who they became, I would love them because they are my world.  With that I would want them to learn that everyone is, or has the potential to be someones world.  So when talking to or dealing with others, I want them to remember that everyone is important and should be treated with respect.  When the time for dating comes I want them to know that they are not only worthy of respect and should always keep that in mind but should always respect whomever they decide to date.  I also want them to be able to be who they are.  They will never be alone and unloved so I want them to seek to be just who they are. I want them to know that they will make better quality relationships being who they are than trying to fit in any kind of mold.   
2.Responsibility- Even though they are my world and would I give even my life for them, they are not entitled to anything, besides breathing and the opportunity to make themselves into anything they want to be.  In this lesson I also want them to be the type of men that take responsibility for their actions.  This is something I want to ingrain in them because it is not only counter intuitive to human nature but it is something that even high ranking government officials struggle with.  We tend to want people to think highly of us.  This causes us to go out of our way to present ourselves as "perfect".  Well no one is perfect and I think more highly of someone who messes up and takes credit for their mistake and goes about making it right, than someone who denies their wrongdoing despite irrefutable proof.  Like I said, everyone is guilty of this, but I want so badly for my boys to know that it is crucial to take responsibility for themselves.  To be the type of men that can earn respect through being human and being who they are rather than who they think others expect them to be.
3. Proactive- I want my boys to be the type of people who see something that needs to be done and just DO IT.  This can range from small things like picking up their dirty clothes or taking out the trash to seeing someone in the community with a need that they are capable of filling and just doing it with out being asked.   If this meant taking an action in government or something more substantial I would want them to do that as well. 
4. Fair-  Life is not fair, never has been, never will be.  This, however, does not mean I don't want my boys to seek to be fair in all their dealings.  If they have the power or opportunity to make things more fair for themselves or others I want them to make the effort and be fair as often as this unfair life allows.
5. Balance-  I want them always to seek balance in their lives.  I want them to decide for themselves what is most important to them and to go after it, but to make sure that they are leading a balanced life.  This could include their work, play, religion, family, and any other worth while thing they so choose.  I want them to be sure that as they strive for one thing or another it doesn't become so much a focus that other parts of their life atrophy.  Work to live but try not to live for work. This doesn't mean I don't want them to be the best at their job and take pride in their work. I just don't want them to get lost in it and forget to LIVE.  Play is the same.  I want them to find something they enjoy and even something that offers an escape from life every once in a while. I just want them to seek balance as they do these things.  Religion is a great thing to have and I think a strong ethics and belief system is important for any human being.  But I want for them to be balanced in it. I don't want them to be so consumed by any particular teaching that they neglect other parts of their life or start to be closed-minded of those around them.  There are many people of worth that won't share their same beliefs.  I don't want them to miss awesome opportunities to learn and grow by being too judgmental and closed minded.   
 6. Love and Forgive-  Lastly I want them to know they should love and let people in as often as possible.  It makes them vulnerable and they will get hurt.  This being said, there is more to be gained than lost. Also I want them to remember in those they love, no one is perfect, there WILL come times in their lives when they will have to forgive.  I just want them to remember that they will need forgiveness at times so it will be to their benefit to be forgiving.  Besides they may have to learn for themselves but holding a grudge does more harm to them than to just let it go.
I know this is a novel and a half but honestly I want my thoughts down somewhere that I can refer back to them as my boys grow.  I figure most of it is some goals to have for myself and teach by example...but just in case I forget or am unable to deliver these lessons myself I want my boys to know.